If you’re a parent or the cool uncle/aunt to a little angel, we’re sure you’d know by now that 22nd September, this Sunday, is Daughter’s Day. And while we all can agree that daughters are super special, not everyone is bestowed with this gift. And this Daughter’s Day, we caught up with one such lady who really wanted to have a daughter of her own. So much so that she ended up adopting one even after having two biological sons! Well, now you don’t get to hear that quite often in a country like India. Yes, we’re talking about Delhi-based mom, Sheik Jenia, who is a mother of three kids- two sons and a daughter who she has adopted. Read on to catch our insightful conversation with her.
Image Source: firstmumclubs 
Image Source: firstmumclubs
Hi Sheik. Could you tell us why did you make the decision of adopting a daughter and how did your family react to it?
We always wanted a girl child. However, I knew there’s no guarantee that after two biological sons, my third child is going to be a daughter. Which is why I considered adopting a girl child.
My husband and I first discussed it amongst ourselves before registering for adoption. We then brought up the topic with our elder son. He was of course very excited because he already has a brother and wanted a sister too. As far as our younger son was concerned, he was too young to understand all this. I also bought some age-appropriate books on adoption which I read along with my elder son to make him familiar with the term and the process.
And how was your husband’s reaction when you first told him about your decision?
My husband was very supportive throughout because more than me it was he who wanted a daughter. And after having two sons when I told him about the possibility of having a daughter through adoption he found the whole idea very exciting! But since he comes from a joint family, he took some time to figure things out because he didn’t want to take a hasty decision. We didn’t want to do something that might affect and hurt our child in the future. So, after a couple of months of thinking about it, he finally came up to me and said let’s do it!
What’s the process parents need to go through to adopt a child in India?
When a couple is adopting a child, it is very important that both the partners are on the same page. If one of the partners is not sure about it, then it’s best to rethink and reconsider.
So, I knew that the entire adoption process in India takes about 18-24 months, which meant we had some time in our hands. We registered in January 2017 and we got the baby in 2018 which gave my husband enough time to get used to the idea. We are happy that we gave each other that space and comfort to figure things out before adopting.
Can you tell us a bit about your daughter? Did you initially face difficulties getting familiar with her?
Our daughter was 3 years and 1 month old when we brought her home. We didn’t face any major difficulties. But our daughter had some behavior issues back then because of her traumatic past and was not used to being around male members.
She took around a month to adjust with her father. But fortunately, she mingled well with her brothers. There were times when she did throw tantrums since she had anxiety and trust issues. She came from an institution where she was used to staying inside one room and suddenly here she had so many people coming to visit her which made her uncomfortable. So, she took 2-3 months to adjust, but now she’s totally a daddy’s girl!
How do you think in a country like India, society can be more supportive of such decisions and not judge women like you who choose to adopt?
We need to work on spreading more awareness and normalising the idea of adoption. Due to the lack of awareness, people still believe that adoption is for a childless couple or for those who can’t have a child through surrogacy or IVF. Adoption is nothing but one of the routes to motherhood. It should be accepted the way giving birth biologically is accepted.
Adoption is all about unconditional love and trust. We need to create this awareness among the people so that no woman is judged the basis of the way she chooses to have a child. It’s your personal choice on how you want to have a child – biologically, through adoption, IVF or through surrogacy.
As you know, 22nd September is Daughter’s Day. What would you like to say to all the parents out there who have daughters?
It’s high time that the mothers of daughters empower themselves first. They should be able to share their life struggles with their daughters. This will help them to understand their mother’s issues. Mothers must talk to their daughters about topics like menstruation, safe sex, sexual harassment, etc. Share your experiences and give her the power to handle her own experiences.
So all you lovely parents, uncles & aunts out there, we hope you got some great insights from our conversation with Sheik Jenia.
